Yesterday I had a realization. I have allowed myself the false luxury of simply coasting through my workouts the past few days. I have been on autopilot. I have been faithful in doing them, yes. But haven’t really been DOING them, if ya know what I mean. I could blame it on getting up too early, not getting enough sleep, or needing caffeine, but at the end of the day those are just more excuses and aren’t really getting to the heart of the matter.
I had to sit with this new found insight for a little while and process why I think this might be. Introspection is something I have become much better at this year and in some ways it does kind of stink because it forces me to take responsibility. With that responsibility comes power, and no, not in a controlling or negative way. Power more in terms of a positive force that can allow me to get a grip and make huge strides towards my goals and my fullest potential.
As I began to think about merely just “showing up” for my workouts I realized that I rely on Rob a lot more than I thought. Whether he knew it or not, he pushed me to push harder. The simple act of him being by my side in my workouts made me work harder. While I am sure some of that additional motivation can be attributed to my pride (which is a whole other issue I will save for different day), it was also the knowing that I wasn’t doing it alone. There was someone else that was sharing in the experience, sharing in the discomfort. There was someone else on that journey too.
But the thing is, we aren’t always going to have someone there to physically push us (metaphorically speaking) to achieve our best. We aren’t always going to have someone in our corner cheering us on. Sometimes, it’s only us. What do we do then? Do we continue to go through the motions (like I was) or do we intentionally show up realizing that it is only up to us. What do I want more? The consolation that I got up and got it done, or do I want the satisfaction that in spite of only having me to push myself I left it all on the field holding nothing back?
Today I am choosing the latter, and tomorrow I will have to make that choice again, and everyday after that. We don’t get to choose once and for all to show up in life (whether it be in our fitness pursuits, families, or careers). We get to make that choice everyday..so what do we choose– victory or defeat?