We’re rarely motivated by punishment. If checking in with a coach or your fitness friend is like having a babysitter, then you’ll likely not be stoked to check in. It will be entirely too easy to flake out and blow it off all together.
Accountability is not punishment.
I get it, I used to have an extremely negative perception of accountability. In my mind accountability was another way I thought people were trying to control me. Being held accountable to my actions seemed like one more way for others to judge me because I didn’t measure up.
With spiritual maturity came the realization that being held to my word was not punishment. In fact, having to own my choices and their subsequent consequences has been such an act of love.
Ultimately if we choose not to show up and do the work that’s our choice entirely. And we will essentially reap what we sow.
Trying to figure it out by yourself.
Whether you’re an introvert or extrovert, you were created for community. We thrive in situations where we feel supported, loved, and understood. Part of being in a community with other women working on their own fitness goals is not having to know all the answers or figure it out by yourself.
When you have your tribe, you can use them as a resource and a cheering squad. One of the biggest mistakes I made when first navigating my fitness journey was trying to do it alone. YOu can learn so much from others, but in order to do so, you have to be willing to let them in.
We all have the same insecurities
We have this misconception that when we finally reach our goal weight or have the body/ life of our dreams we will no longer feel insecure or like we don’t measure up. The reality is even when we do have those things, there will still be times when you don’t feel like you’re good enough. I certainly felt that way when I was at my unhealthiest–not taking care of myself and at my leanest and meanest. When I was eating clean and lifting weights 5-6 days week or when I was eating fast food and living that couch potato life.
To this day I still have moments when I pull up to my kids’ school, see other moms, and feel like somehow I’m not as good of a mom as they are. Truth be told the reasons I feel insecure are so silly. But that is how those little lies work. The lies take the truth and distort it, or blows it way out of proportion.
Allow others to see the real you
There are many reasons women don’t seek out accountability in their fitness journey. One of them being they feel they have to reach a certain level of fitness before they can start. It is no secret, there is a stigma around being in a larger body. Even if that body is healthy in every way, but just doesn’t fit the mold.
Sometimes we don’t create accountability for ourselves because we don’t feel worthy or good enough. We can use our insecurities as a reason we don’t pursue accountability because we don’t feel we measure up.
I want to encourage you to explore the source of your insecurity. Dig into the thoughts that promote the feelings of inadequacy. This process can feel a bit messy. You might even be wondering how your thoughts relate to you reaching the fitness goals you’ve set for yourself this year.
The reality is, your thoughts are everything. Imagine for a moment you were already living in your dream body. If you still thought you were unattractive or bigger than you actually were, would you be satisfied? The good news is you don’t have to wait to be in your dream body. You can start to cultivate those thoughts and feelings right now.
Don’t pick just anyone to be your accountability buddy
Find a coach or trainer who doesn’t emphasize weight loss and fat loss as the primary goal EVEN if those are your main fitness goals. Look for someone with a similar story to you so they can relate to you.
If you hire a coach or trainer who has never shared the same experiences as you it may be hard to really show up and be honest. You also want to look for someone who is willing to be vulnerable and honest with you.
Even if they are your coach or trainer they owe you accountability too. They are not the expert. Your coach’s job is to be a support, and to be someone who makes you feel confident and let’s you know you’re not in this alone.
Make time for accountability
We all have the same 24 hours in a day and only 7 days to get it all done. That is more than enough time as long as we are diligent about our priorities, and are intetnional about where and with whom we spend our time.
You have to make time for accountability. It won’t just happen. Much like everything in life you either make time for it or it doesn’t happen. I suggest setting up a weekly time to meet with your coach or your accountability squad. Aim for the same time each week. And if you absolutely cannot do every week, then aim for biweekly check ins.
Be sure to schedule your meetings ahead of time as well. This will ensure you don’t skip your meetings or go too long without touching base. You’ve got to advocate for your fitness goals because nobody else will, so be as proactive as you can.
The process of finding the right accountability system can be tricky, but it’s not impossible. Avoiding some of the mistakes I shared today will help you create an accountability system that will work for you, your goals, and your lifestyle.
Cheers to creating food freedom, finding joy in movement, and making peace with your body!
PS. Be sure to catch up on this series by reading the other articles on accountability.
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