The pressure to be everything to everyone and look good while doing it was suffocating.
I felt like I always had to have weight loss goals, goals to get leaner, stronger. There was never a time I could enjoy or love my body as it was. It never seemed good enough even at my leanest or my lightest.
If only someone would have told me sooner..
You can love your bodies as it is.There is magic in learning to enjoy what your body can do NOW without waiting on the scale or the six pack to come through. It’s ok if you are happy ‘being’ who you are.
Society makes it seem so normal to always have a health and fitness goal to be working on. Often, this leads us to feeling external pressure to add one more thing to an already full plate.
Rejecting society’s message to fix yourself
With this messaging we forget it’s ok to be at peace with our bodies. There doesn’t have to be a struggle between taking care of yourself and doing all the other things you love to do. Living a healthy lifestyle should feel as natural as an unhealthy lifestyle. But that is not the message we get bombarded with.
As I started to grow restless with the never-ending pursuit of building the perfect body, doubts swirled in my mind. Was something wrong with me if I’m content with where my body is in spite of the fact it’s softer and bigger than it used to be?
Had I given up on myself because I wasn’t trying to lose weight or fat? Would I stop caring about myself?
So many false beliefs fill our heads when it comes to health and weight loss. It’s not your fault though. These are the same messages we get from health experts, fitness gurus, and even our medical doctors.
When I realized even at my lightest weight or my leanest I still wasn’t happy, something had to change. The truth that being more fit didn’t make me a better wife or mom was a blow, and I was exhausted from trying to micro manage every bite I ate.
I started to question everything. So if it wasn’t about my weight, my body, or having/not having a goal, what was it about then? Could I be confident and content and present even if I let my foot off the gas a bit in my fitness area?
Ditch the dieting mindset
It’s the dieting mindset makes you feel like:
- You’ve always got to be working on a goal.
- Fixing yourself in some way to fit the ideal body is normal.
- Somehow you’re not as good of a person if you’re not 100% committed to your fitness.
There’s a false belief that you should look like the fit ideal body no matter the cost. For most women, it’s literally killing them to reach this ideal of ‘healthy’ or ‘fit’. We’re told If you cave to society’s idea about what your body should look like, you’ll be golden. NOT true.
The further into the fitness world I got, the more black and white things seemed to be.
I lost sight of the fact I started working out and eating healthier to add value to my life. Not take it away.
Create a healthy lifestyle with ease
With a busy schedule like mine, I decided to do a little experiment. Instead of doing the nutrition thing and the fitness thing full out, I’d do the bare minimum and see how I felt.
I wondered how I would feel if I did the shortest workouts and stopped tracking my food. This was scary and totally opposite to the way I’d been living for several years.
Would I lose strength? Would I gain a bunch of weight? Would I stop working out all together?
Step one: decide on your minimum baseline. What things would I do everyday? And what would I stop doing? For sure I was done feeling guilty or like I should be doing more (this one topped the list).
I felt anxious about throwing out the beliefs I had about how my body should look.
I found myself body checking to see if I was still ‘good enough’, because I equated being lean with being worthy. Old diet minded thoughts would come back about my body. But I had to keep going. I had to remember I didn’t exactly feel better about myself even in my leanest body.
In letting my nutrition and fitness go a little, I realized I had more energy and time to go after bigger goals.
There was more time to be present with my kids and my husband.
I could enjoy life’s daily experiences more without being so self-conscious.
That seems counter-intuitive, I know. One thing people neglect to mention about living in the ‘fit ideal’ body, is there is a ton of pressure to maintain. Heaven forbid you gain weight or get softer in any way.
The pivotal moment for me was when I realized that I was still loved, I was still a successful lifestyle coach, and I could still be a good wife and mom even if I was overweight. Most importantly, I was happier.
Even if I was doing the least possible in my workouts, I was still strong, still taking care of myself, and still as good of a person as before. Only now, with more energy, time, and freedom to enjoy this one, wild and precious life.
You’re not a failure if you decide you want to rewrite your story with your body. You’re brave.
With love and belief,
PS. There are a couple of steps I need you to take if you’re serious about ditching the diet mindset.
1) You can grab your free guide below. True transformation happens from the mind, and this guide is full of tools to help you ditch the diet mindset for good.
2) Schedule a free consult
if you want to learn more about what working with a lifestyle coach can do for you.