How many times have you said you want to be healthy, be more present in your life, or have more meaningful connections with others (as well as yourself)?
We say we want one thing, yet we act in ways that contradict and sabotage our deepest dreams and desires.
For example: we want to be healthier so that we have the energy to keep up with our kids, yet we waste our energy on things like tracking our food, counting calories, or comparing our bodies to those around ours.
Perhaps you’re more apt to frequently give into your cravings and skip the workout because Netflix was more appealing.
You say you want one thing, but you act the opposite. We have all done it from time to time. The key is to learn how to change the habit.
6-packs and flat abs, worth the cost?
There was quite a long season in my life I chased having 6-pack abs, but had to sacrifice things that deeply mattered to me. For me, some of the things I had to give up weren’t worth the flat abs. I wanted to have pizza night with my family. I wanted my daughter to grow up seeing her mama happy and healthy. Not just healthy.
I was living out of alignment with my deeper core values. This made it nearly impossible to stick with what I needed to do in order to have or maintain the abs.
Perhaps the problem isn’t your will power, but rather the problem is chasing someone else’s idea about what you should *look* like, be like, and what you should do to get there.
For many of us, when we chase someone else’s idea of success in any area of our lives or we resolve to follow their plan instead of adapting it to fit our own lives we end up not being able to hack it. This of course leads to feeling like we suck, like we’re failures. Like there is something wrong with us.
We feel torn and exhausted because we are chasing someone else’s goals or ideas and wonder why we don’t make any real, lasting progress.
For me, I knew I couldn’t and didn’t want to keep starting over. The 6-pack abs weren’t worth what it was costing me in the rest of my life.
Can healthy actually feel easy(ier)?
Maybe I lacked will power, maybe I wasn’t good enough to keep dieting. One thing I knew for sure was I wanted my healthy lifestyle to feel easier. I wanted it to be as natural feeling as living an unhealthy lifestyle.
Once I realized I had been chasing someone else’s goals and ideas instead of my own it clicked as to why I wasn’t able to maintain the diet or the crazy intense workout programs.
On the surface I was doing all the things I thought I was supposed to, but deep down, I didn’t want to have to give up carbs or sugar forever. I didn’t want to have to follow a meal plan any longer. I didn’t want to have to do a specific workout if I didn’t feel like it.
The craziest thing is, even when I was doing #allthethings I wasn’t even getting the results I wanted anyway. So not only was I not rocking the 6-pack abs, I wasn’t even all that happy doing what I was doing.
Self-discovery, the key to your success…
The first thing I did, was said no more. No more to following someone else’s rules, meal plans, or exercising the way I thought I should.
I got to know myself and what really mattered to me.
I had to figure out what was giving me energy, what was draining it.
If my kids were the most important thing, was the way I was living reflecting that? Was I actually working out for my husband or for some other reason?
I have to admit, I was scared to let myself be the one in charge at first. Even with a background in exercise and nutrition, I had forgotten how to trust myself to know what I needed.
In many ways, I felt like a failure.. I mean why, as a fitness professional was I struggling so much with what to eat and how to move my body?
There were many times I felt uncertain of doing it my way instead of what the world told me to do.
…trust me, it’s going to take some time
Though it’s taken some time (which all good things do) I’ve been able to find my own version of balance. This came through being patient with myself, having grace when I messed up, and rebuilding the relationship with myself.
I get it, the idea of owning your behaviors is scary. It means you’re responsible for what happens. When we follow a diet or commit to following someone else’s plan for our lives, they are sort of responsible right. We can pass the blame…even if it’s just a little.
I promise though, it is 100% worth it to do the work in getting to know yourself.
When your actions are aligned to what you really want and what is actually important to you, living a healthy lifestyle takes way less will power. Which makes it easier to stick with even when life gets crazy. Now that’s a healthy lifestyle I can get behind 😉
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