What’s the hardest part about change for you?
Change is such a scary place to be. It’s like we know we want it, but we are afraid of what’s on the other side. There are so many quick fixes out there or plans that encourage us to completely overhaul our lives and make radical changes. Sometimes those plans work and sometimes they back fire in the worse way. Ultimately it depends on who you are and what works for you. If radical change is the only way to go and you can make lasting change, then this blog post may not be for you. However, if you like to dip your toes in the pool of change before diving in, then read on my sweet friend.
I mentioned the other day that I am on a new leg of my own journey. And I’ll be completely honest I am usually the one that dives all the way in and figures it out as I go. That works for me…. some of the time, but there are lots of times I get myself in too deep too fast. I get overwhelmed, confused, and just stall out. Sometimes instead of doing the same thing and wanting different results you’ve gotta be wiling to shake it up a bit. So in the spirit of being a bit rebellious to my old ways, I’ve decided to take it slow. Enjoy the journey, and reflect a bit more along the way.
If you’re staring change straight in the eye and it’s got you intimidated, then I got you! Instead of trying to eat the whole elephant at once, ask yourself what you can do in just 5 minutes a day? What small, seemingly insignificant change can you make in five minutes a day?
Maybe it’s parking a little further and walking more. Maybe it’s eating one more serving of veggies for the day. Maybe it’s going for a walk instead of plopping down on the couch after work. It doesn’t really matter what it is as long as it is moving you in the direction you want to be going. Then just focus on that simple 5 minute action daily and slowly build from there. And most of all just have fun with this! Try making it a game to see how many days in a week you can get that 5 minute action in. If you are someone that likes having a prize at the end, you can even try setting up little rewards along the way. So let’s say you do your 5 minute habit consistently for 2 or 3 weeks, have something that you will do for yourself (just make sure it is not going to undo what you’ve been working on for the past few weeks).
I’m dying to know what 5 minute habit you will commit to this week…let me know in the comments below, so I can check in on you and see how you’re doing with that!
Don’t let the fear of changing keep you from being all you were created to be! If you’re ready for more than a 5 minute change, then let’s chat, email me: email@example.com and if you’re up for a little challenge, I’ve got a special 5 day mini-program that I want to get into your hands for free. You can click here to claim your seat. See you there!
Cheers to choosing change over comfort,
How do you feel about pop quizzes? Don’t worry, you won’t be graded (and truthfully, I’ll never know your answer unless you’re feeling brave and let me know with a comment below 😉 ) Without thinking too much about it, which one do you identify with more?
Are you a
> > Goal getter: sets goals and crushes them every single time no matter how long it takes
> > Goal forget-er: sets goals, well more like sends wishes out into the universe hoping/wishing/ praying/ crossing your fingers that they will just somehow happen. Then are constantly feeling discouraged and defeated when you’re not anywhere closer to where you wanted to be…
If you’re already a goal getter, congrats! Keep doing what you’re doing. Hit reply and let me know your system 🙂
If however, you answered goal forget-er, read on.
I was the latter for most of my life. I don’t think I really remember hitting a goal that I had deliberately set for myself until I was in my early 20s. Before that it seemed like everything was either dumb luck or my stubbornness working in my favor for once..While that might seem cool and all, it isn’t a predictable way to go after your goals.
Sure, you need resilience and belief in order to achieve things you’ve never achieved before. But you also need a bit of a plan, a clear vision, and you may even need to learn a few skills along the way.
Before you Google goal setting strategies, here are two of the most common goal setting techniques I’ve seen. I tend to oscillate somewhere between. I like having goals bound by time, but I’ve also had to learn to not beat myself up if I miss a goal deadline. It’s ok to not reach your goals as long as you are taking action every single day towards them. In all reality is less about the success in hitting your goals and more about who you become in the process.
After all, we tend to set goals because we think they will bring us something…usually it’s joy, fulfillment, happiness, peace, contentment, worthiness, value, etc. Spoiler alert, you don’t actually need to wait until you hit your goals to feel those things right now.
So, do you set SMART goals or Process goals?
There is a good chance you’ve heard or seen SMART goals at least once in your life even if you didn’t realize it at the time. A SMART goal by definition is- specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and is bound by time. An example of a SMART goal would be:
I will walk 5x a week every week until August 31, 2018.
With this you see that it is specific, we know what you will be doing. It is also measurable. You can track whether or not you walked 5x a week. It is also quite achievable and realistic. And of course setting a ‘done by date’ or deadline, gives you a time parameter.
>Things I like about SMART goals<<
They are clear and defined. You know what you are doing, how often, and you have the sense of urgency a deadline can bring.
You can become defeated or discouraged if you constantly set goals based on a hard deadline. Let’s say you have the goal of losing weight by a specific event. Let’s say your goal is to drop 10 pounds by summer. So you set your SMART goal and you execute daily on the the specific action or actions you decided on. You’re consistent, you’re diligent, you’re committed. You don’t miss your workouts and your diet is nearly perfect, except the occasional treat here or there. You’re doing everything right.
You hop on the scale after several weeks of this stellar behavior, and BAM! You’ve only lost 3 pounds. Does that mean you failed because you didn’t lose the entire 10 pounds? Does that mean that you didn’t work hard enough? Does that mean you should not celebrate what you did accomplish?
But depending on how your mind works, those are some of the thoughts that might be racing through your head. How do I know? Because that was me. I still catch myself at times going back to that old way of thinking. Habits are hard to break, and our self-talk is no different.
I’m also not a huge fan of only setting realistic goals..think about this for a moment. If you have a goal of losing 100 pounds, yet you’ve never done that before. Does the goal feel realistic in the moment? Likely not. Why? because you’ve probably never lost 100 pounds before, but have probably tried to 100 times before. I’d like to offer that we swap realistic for possible. Is the goal in the realm of possibilities? Has anyone else ever in the history of humanity achieved the goal? Could it be done within the natural realm of possibilities? If you can answer yes to either of those, then its a goal worth setting no matter how crazy it might seem.
Process goals vary from SMART goals in that it focuses more on, you guessed it, the process. These types of goals tend to be less focused on the outcome and more focussed on the consistency of a desired action. Process goals emphasize the importance of the journey and prioritize who you become along the way over what you achieve.
In my honest opinion I think this is perhaps a more biblical way of looking at setting goals. Why? Well, we can’t control an outcome no matter how hard we hustle, how diligent or driven we are, or how obsessed we become. We can simply control how well we showed up each day.
If the thought of setting a deadline overwhelms you and brings on anxiety, then I’d like to suggest that you may want to consider setting goals that focus on specific actions you can take. That instead of measuring whether or not you hit a specific goal ie weight loss that you also measure and focus on the in between–where you are now and where you’d like to be someday.
Remember, you will never truly ever reach the finish line. Goals are intended to inspire us to become slightly better today than we were yesterday. Not because you aren’t good enough as you are, but because you were created to be so much more. Who doesn’t want to reach their absolute fullest potential? Its not necessarily for this life that we strive for those things, but for the one we were created for.
Regardless of where you are in life and how you have or have not reached past goals, you can always make strides towards the vision you have for yourself. Just might take rolling up your sleeves and doing a little work…Your ability to imagine for yourself the life you want to be living will be the ultimate litmus test for whether or not your goals are either realistic or achievable.
Get out there and shine,
PS. If you need a little help mapping out your goals, here is my gift to you
“You must first master a knew way of thinking before you can master a new way to be.”
It all starts in our minds. Our thoughts inform our feelings and it is often how we feel about something that informs our actions. Which repeated over and over form our beliefs about ourselves, others, and our environments. I believe this is why the Bible talks over and over again about guarding and renewing your mind. We were not created with negativity in mind. However, that is sadly the soundtrack that most of us hear on repeat.
It is important to realize that if you are merely listening to your thoughts, the chances of those thoughts being negative are almost always 100%. I don’t believe this is how it’s always been. When you look at kids, up until a certain age they don’t seem to have that kind of vulnerability towards negative thinking about themselves. Sure, some kids seem to from early ages, but when I look at kids, I see courageous little beings with the belief that anything is possible and that they are capable of doing whatever they set their minds to. In fact, just the other day my 7 year old son asked me to reach out to one of his gaming heroes to see if they could team up and play a game together.
I was taken back for a second by his unwavering hope and belief that he would actually get to do this if he simply asked for it. It breaks my heart to say that as of yet, his wish has not come true, but there is an equally powerful lesson in the let down as well. And I can only hope and pray that I help him navigate this in a way that encourages him to continue reaching for the things that seem impossible.
So, what’s this got to do with you and me?
We often start backwards. We try to implement new ways of being before we ever even think about what is going on between our ears. The catch is, if we don’t attend to our thoughts our new behaviors won’t last long. Even if you can create new habits. You will always run into self-sabotaging behaviors.
Sometimes the thoughts will feel foreign or phony at first. When that happens it is worth exploring why that is. I know it is hard to see what it isn’t there yet and have faith that it is in the waiting, but it is. That next level version of yourself is waiting for you to discover her and to reveal her to the world around. It is not about faking it until you make it, but more about slowly becoming that vision of yourself starting in your thoughts.
How would she carry herself?
What would she eat?
How does she dress, do her hair?
Does she have good relationships with others?
What does she read?
Craft up that vision, and put yourself in her shoes. You may not know exactly the answers to those things yet, but you can take a good guess, because she is you. She is the future you. Start thinking like her and you will cultivate the ability to behave like her too. Bit by bit. Thought by thought. If you’re ready for new outcomes, welcome new thoughts.
P.S. I’d love to hear from you, my inbox is always open. Drop me a line and let me know what thoughts you are committing to exile this week! firstname.lastname@example.org
I realize it’s been a while since you’ve heard from me, and I’m sorry for the absence. The past several weeks have been nothing short of a thrilling roller coaster ride to say the least. There had been a stirring in my heart for several months and I finally decided to take the leap and make some changes. No matter how seasoned you are at any one area of your life anytime you start to make changes old feelings, thoughts, and habits start to come back to the surface or completely new thoughts start to show up.
Change is great at making you see the areas of yourself/ your life that need some improvement. It can be so scary and so overwhelming, but it can also be so exciting and so refreshing if you let it. Every new level you climb to will bring out new devils to deal with, but be encouraged–you can and you will do it. Because you realize that the change is needed and is long over do. So, here are some of the things that have been happening since I last checked in:
-Launched a brand new website (check it out and let me know what you think). This one is huge for me! I am so tickled with how well it turned out, and I really feel like it captures the essence of who I am, what I do, and how I want to serve others.
-Created and am launching my first coaching program, Ditch the Diet Mindset and Rewrite your Food Story. This was a labor of love for sure and I am so happy with the final product. I cannot wait to get it into the hands of the women that have been craving something like this. No calorie counting, no food obsession, no bingeing, no restriction.
-Went back to my roots with my own nutrition. As someone that has spent years dealing with the issues around food mentioned above this feels really dang good. I let myself slip back into some old habits and patterns that were not serving me well. So to be in this place of grace and freedom around food again is precisely what I had been missing.
– Learning each day to balance between being wife, mom, coach, and entrepreneur. This is always in change. Each day, each season requires something new. Sometimes the learning curve feels too steep, but I have faith. I know that no matter what I can get done in a day, it’s enough. I hope you hear that. I hope that becomes a truth for you as well. It’s all about grace, my friend!
Despite all that is happening, all that has yet to happen, all the unknown, and uncertainty there is peace amidst the chaos. There is nothing quite like that peace of mind.
I’d love to hear what is new in your world! Drop me a comment and let me know what changes are on the horizon for you in this next season. How can I come along side you as you walk through this change? It’s better when we do it together!
Until next time, friend!
Confidence at times can seem like a mystical unicorn. Sometimes we see little glimmers and specks of it here or there, like when we are having a good hair day or our jeans slid over our hips without any resistance. Other days however, not so much. No matter what you put on or how you try to fix your hair, you still can’t muster up even the slightest bit of confidence. I’ve been there and have had those days.
While it might feel good in the moment when everything goes as planned, it feels just as awful when it all goes south. That is why it is so important to build an unshakeable foundation of confidence. We aren’t going to do this through more exercise, makeup, or hair product, but rather by using strategies to help us build our confidence from the inside out. On solid rock rather than sinking sand.
Today I wanted to share one super simple and super effective strategy that has really shifted focus from all that I am not doing, to what I am actually doing pretty well. You may already be in the habit of journaling, and that is great! One quick question though, do you regularly journal and record your daily wins?
I wasn’t. At least not until a few months ago. I got so tired of looking at my to-do list that never seemed to be satisfied or all of the projects I wanted to start (and someday finish) for my business. There was this constant feeling of defeat each day as I lay my head down at night. I felt as if summiting the mountaintop was an impossible feat. And while we should always be striving (in a healthy way of course) for that next level, we ought also take the time to enjoy the journey.
One easy way to do that is by recording what you are already doing. In some ways this is just an extension of practicing gratitude, and it helps you see that you are winning each and every day. Some days the wins might feel small or foolish and other days they might feel like you just slayed a giant. Either way, it is worth celebrating!
So tonight, grab a journal and jot down the first three things that come to mind as something that you accomplished or just got done. Be proud and be appreciative. This will boost your confidence immediately and will give you some inspiration to get at it again in the morning.
I’d love to hear how this works for you, leave a comment below with some of you wins!
Until next time 🙂
“Nothing can dim the light that shines from within”
Nothing that is unless you let it. Don’t be so quick to give your power away. The light may be merely a flicker at the moment, but continue to feed that fire until it becomes an all consuming flame.
One song comes to mind when I hear this quote…this little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine. What ever happened to that confidence? Hide it under a bushel, NO! I’m going to let it shine. You were made to shine too. Don’t let anybody or anything talk you into hiding it.
That yearning for something more is put there for a reason. Don’t ignore the call on your heart. Feed the flame and one day it will be the burning fire you desire it to be.
It is hard to do this on your own though, isn’t it? That is why having community is SO important. If you are looking for that community, for that tribe, then look no more. We’ve got you covered. Search Find your T.H.R.I.V.E on FB and join the other women on this journey with you.