Bad habits, we all have them in various forms. Some are more obvious than others, yet they all in some way trip us up and keep us from being the strong, fierce, and beautiful women we were created to be. This weeks’ show talks about why you need to break your bad habits around food, exercise, and your mindset now so you can be more fully the woman you were created to be.
Whether they are bad behaviors you picked up around food, exercise, or your thoughts, you can break them and replace them with better habits more aligned with your goals.
In today’s show, I share with you how pruning my lavender taught me some pretty valuable lessons about pruning bad habits from my life and letting dead things go.
What do you need to prune in your life? What bad habits need to die? What are you willing to let go of so you can grab hold of what you were created for?
Pruning is a painful process and sometimes we even have to let go of the “good” things so we can grab hold of the best things.
Even if you’re not into gardening, you will get so much value from today’s show!
Do you find yourself quietly comparing what you look like to other women?
Whether it’s us judging ourselves against people we know or not, comparison is a no-win game. And usually leaves us struggling with negative body image issues and anxiety.
This is especially true if we are comparing ourselves to photoshopped and filtered images on Instagram or other social media outlets.
If we aren’t careful, those negative feelings can take over our lives. It’s all we think about, and end up obsessing over how to ‘fix’ our bodies to fit more with what the current ideal body standard is of the moment.
Needless to say, spending so much time and energy comparing what we think we look like against how others look is a waste of our precious time.
What you might not know is that those negative feelings you have about yourself are all inside your head.
Our feelings are generated by the stories we tell ourselves over and over again.
This means though, you can change how you feel about your body without ever changing it by simply changing the story you are telling yourself about how you look.
The first step is to neutralize negative thoughts, and that is exactly what I share with you in this week’s episode! Grab your favorite drink, hit play, and get ready to change those toxic thoughts.
4 out of 5 women are unhappy with the way they look in some way. 75% have or currently engage in disordered eating behaviors.
In the sororities I’ve spoken at that stat is more like 💯. When I ask by show of hands who had at least one thing they wanted to change about their body every.single.hand goes up.
As we begin to unpack the idea of body dissatisfaction and how it impacts our self esteem and confidence one theme keeps coming up: Comparison.
The trouble with comparison is we are usually comparing oranges to apples.
Often we are comparing our natural, unfiltered bodies to airbrushed and filtered images. There’s no way our imperfect and flawed bodies could ever compete and win against images that have been retouched and doctored up to give the false illusion that perfection exists.
Looking at what you don’t have or who you’re not is a recipe for disaster. And comparing yourself to others will only ever leave you feeling empty and not good enough.
Especially when you’re comparing yourself to airbrushed and filtered images.
The irony is we think if we were: Shorter Taller Thicker Thinner Lighter Darker
We’d be able to be content with ourselves.
But even at 9% body fat I was still comparing and still not feeling good enough.
I’m so much more confident in this body now than I ever was at 111 pounds and shredded.
You can be confident right now without ever shedding a pound. But that work has to start inside.
It truly is a state of mind. Be kind to yourself and treat your body with love. It’s the only one you’ve got 🖤
What makes you feel confident today?
Embrace your imperfections and hold onto what gives you confidence. Ditch the pressure to conform to an unachievable idea of what your body should look like. ✌🏼
With all this extra time at home do you find yourself thinking about your body and your food choices more?
Have you started beating yourself up again because you can’t get your workout in like you’d like or because your food choices haven’t been as good as you would like them to be?
I know I have.
I started body checking (glancing at myself when I stroll by a mirror) more, and noticed not so kind things popping up in my head.
I started mentally tracking what I was eating that day to make sure it wasn’t *too* much. And I’ve had to stop myself from going back down that road again.
When life feels out of control, we cope with what is easy—even if it isn’t helpful..ie coping with food when we are stressed or using negative thoughts about our bodies to create change, or over exercising to try to undo all the extra calories from stress eating.
In our culture all of that is normal. But it doesn’t have to be the norm for you.
You can be more relaxed around food and your body even in the midst of a crisis by using these simple strategy
1. Notice when those negative thoughts start to pop up about your body
2. Then ask yourself how do those negative thoughts make you feel?
3. Finally, notice what is your gut reaction is.
You’re probably used to letting those thoughts run wild, taking up so much space in your life.
You see, likely you’ve been listening to that story playing for so long, you believe it is the truth about who you are. But it’s not.
So the next time you notice you are beating yourself up for not looking a certain way, pause.
Interrupt the thought process, and pick a different thought.
Instead of my legs are so gross, so big, have too much cellulite (all thought’s I’ve had); remind yourself they allow you to play with your kiddos or run with your dog, or whatever else they allow you to do.
Instead of doing what you always do, do something different. Interrupt the habit loop of beating yourself up. Do the *opposite* thing.
With time, that inner mean girl will come around less, and when she does, you will know exactly how to shut her up. You got this, I believe in you, and I am here to help <3
Happy New Year! I realize at the time I am writing this, we are actually already one FULL week into January. Some of you may be happily humming along with your plan working on your goals. Others may be wishing upon a star that this year will finally be different.
Yet others of you may be feeling more like me at the moment…a little behind where you’d like to be. Even as I write that, I realize how ridiculous it sounds to be feeling behind when we are only one week into a year that has 51 more to go.
In the spirit of keeping this short, sweet, and simple, I wanted to share three things you can start doing today to radically change the trajectory of your year. And bonus, because it’s only three things and they are pretty quick to execute, you will feel like a total rockstar.
3 Habits to develop this year
Go to bed earlier-
Yes. It really is that simple. Whatever your typical bedtime is, shave off a few minutes and get yourself into bed a bit earlier.
Some perks to this:
You won’t be quite as tempted to dive into the cupboards for some late night snacking.
The amount of time you spend scrolling social media looking at how awesome everyone else’s life is while comparing your own will go way down (as long as you put your phone up before bed).
You will be primed and ready for the next one…
Wake up earlier and start your day with intention-
I’m sorry, but this is a no brainer if you have kids. I used to be notorious for sleeping in until my kids came running in to wake me up or until I heard the baby cry.
This totally put me in a funk, and I felt like I was already behind. It didn’t make for good mornings for any of us.
So even if it is just 15-20 minutes, set your alarm across the room. And get yourself up.
You can sip a cup of hot coffee, enjoy the quiet, get in some journaling time to declutter your mind, or just drink that hot coffee thinking about how you want to show up today in your world.
Doing what you can with what you’ve got-
This one is simple, but not always easy. In fact, that could be said for the above too.
Take a quick inventory of your life in this season. Do you really have time, energy, or the capacity to hit the gym for over an hour a day, pick the kids up, make dinner, help with homework, and volunteer on all those boards?
If you can’t do what’s on your to-do list without feeling totally wiped out by the end of the day, I want to invite you to whittle your list a little.
Or modify. Maybe your workouts go from an hour a day to 20 minutes..still better than nothing. It might be time to let the kids ride the bus, or take yourself off the volunteer rotation.
The point is this, working with what you’ve got is so much better mentally, emotionally, and physically than trying to do too much with too little.
Whatever it is for you, do what you can with what you’ve got.
Your worth isn’t determined by how much you get done. And I promise you, the to-do list will still be there tomorrow 😉
P.S. Ready to get serious about making changes this year? Schedule a free consult to see if coaching is the next step you need to be taking.
So you’ve been at this dieting thing a while eh? Maybe it started back in middle school or maybe even earlier. Sometimes you lose weight, and other times you don’t. Heck, you might even gain weight.
I’ve dieted for over 10 years, and I’ve only lost about 2 pounds. Before you judge me and believe the lie I didn’t work hard enough or just got “lazy”. You may want to reserve those thoughts. Because if, like me, you’ve also tried diet after diet or the latest healthy lifestyle trend, you know the weight loss doesn’t always come and it doesn’t always stick around.
I’ve lost more than 2 pounds over the years (at one point up to 40 pounds). But I’ve managed to gain almost every single pound back.
I did all the things. I ate less and moved more. I tried calorie counting, flexible dieting via macro counting, weight watchers, and just about everything else you can think of.
Some of those things worked, for the short term. But most of them did not.
On the surface I lacked self-esteem and confidence
I hated the way I looked. But on the inside I was even more uncomfortable because of who I saw in the mirror. Not only did I not like how I looked. I didn’t who I was.
I didn’t show up for myself. I treated my body with so much abuse.
And Like most women, I thought weight loss was the answer. I thought if I could just lose some weight, I’d like me so much more.
The problem was that losing the weight doesn’t actually change who you are. Sure on the outside I was different, but inside I was the same girl. The only difference was I was in a body that was more acceptable to the world around me.
The praise and worship that came from being in ‘such good shape’ or being so disciplined made it almost impossible to ignore. On the one hand I felt more confident because I finally felt beautiful and like I was desirable for the first time ever (big lie by the way).
On the other hand, I was still insecure. I compared myself even more than before. I was afraid of ‘losing it’. So I locked myself in another kind of prison. This time my body wasn’t the jail cell, it was the tightly constructed rules, thoughts, and beliefs I built around food, eating, and exercise.
About a year and a half ago, as I was taking my before pictures yet again. And gearing up for my next workout program and meal plan, I realized I was getting ready to start another diet.
It hit me like a ton of bricks: IF this was a healthy lifestyle, why was I always starting over?
I hadn’t actually created a lifestyle. Stress and rules ruled my life around food and my body. The hardest part was, I knew I wasn’t really setting the example for my kids that I wanted. Especially my daughter.
My identity was still wrapped up in how much weight I could lose and keep off as well as how good I looked to compared to other women.
I said good-bye to dieting + pseudo healthy lifestyles
As scary as it was to decide not to start my next diet, I knew I had to. I was tired of feeling like a total failure every couple of weeks when I would get off track with my meal plan or fall off the wagon.
I was tired of starting over.
I knew that If I actually wanted the healthy and abundant life I was created for, I had to leave dieting behind for good.
The first step was to break the rules I’d so neatly constructed around food, eating, health, etc over the years.
Then I gave myself full permission to eat food. All the food. Carbs, fat, candy, all of it.
Remove the food rules-entirely. There were no more ‘good’ or ‘bad’ foods. Just foods that honored me and treated me right. Sometimes that is the cookie and sometimes it’s not.
I had to learn new behaviors around food. Not just someone else’s new rules to follow when it came to eating or food.
I went off the rails
I ate all the foods I had been so good about restricting. It was like my rebellious teen came out and ate every single thing she’d been denied for so long.
I gained weight, and I felt pretty uncomfortable in my clothes. All of the old chatter came back about how bad I looked. This, by the way only made me feel like crap in my skin.
I thought about quitting this new process.
Even though my scale didn’t work, I knew my weight was creeping up.
Then one day…My off the rails eating subsided
My weight leveled off. I wasn’t obsessing over food for the first time in years.
Eating didn’t stress me out.
I had finally taken hold of the reigns in my life, and stopped giving away my power to someone else via another diet, workout program, and ideals about how my body should look.
I’m confident and comfortable in my skin in a way I never was before. And it has zero to do with my weight, how much cellulite I have, or the size of my clothes. In fact, I’m the same weight now as I was when I first started dieting. My jeans might even be about the same size. But you know what?
I’m one hundred percent a new woman. My body doesn’t look the same. And I sure as heck don’t feel the same way about myself. That is something the scale can and never will deliver. How I feel about myself isn’t tied to my weight or what I look like anymore.
My healthy lifestyle fits me and my life. It allows me to do all of the things I want to do because I’m healthy, strong, and have my energy back.
Hands down, the best part is I’m showing my daughter how to be fiercely herself. There is nothing quite like that feeling. I promise.
The question now is, what are you waiting for?
You’ve got one wild and beautiful life…there is no more time to be wasted hating your body for what it’s not. The time to join the Radical Self-Care Rebellion is now!
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