Are you wearing perfectionism like a badge of honor?

Then there was that one time I stepped on stage in a teeny weeny bikini 👙😳
Perfectionism, like busy, was a badge of honor I used to wear proudly. 🥇
 
Which means, I was often ruled by feelings of anxiety, doubt, and fear of failure.
 
Which also means that I would werk werk werk to control everything in my life..
 
including my body, food, and my success in pretty much every single area of my life.
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For all the first born, 3s on the enneagram that may not sound too far off of how you’re operating.
 
By nature we derive meaning and our identity (if we aren’t careful) by being in charge, being the best, and being the over achievers of the bunch.
 
The problem is, we can’t really control any of our outcomes. 💁‍♀️
 
We can only control the action we take and the heart that drives us to strive to achieve.🤯
 
I believe you can pursue your goals—whether health related or not from 2 very different places.
 
1- you’re driven by fear aka comparison, perfectionism, unhealthy competition, etc.
 
and the result will always come up short. Meaning, it will never be good enough, you’ll never be good enough.
 
OR
 
2-you’re motivated by feelings of ALREADY being good enough, pretty enough, healthy enough, strong enough..whatever that enough thing is you’re after.👏🏻👏🏻
 
If you approach it from the latter, you can’t lose.💁‍♀️
 
If, like the old me, you are operating from the former, you can’t win 🤦‍♀️
 
By the way, if you wanna check out an article I wrote on how to beat your negative emotions as a perfectionist, check out this article
Know you’re ready to step off the hamster wheel of counting, tracking, and stressing over food? Sign up below to learn more about The Mindful Eating Project to see if it’s right for you👇🏼
How to have a healthier relationship with your body

How to have a healthier relationship with your body

What was one of your goals this year?

If I had to guess, I’d imagine it would have something to do with being healthier, fitter, stronger, or faster. You’re definitely not alone in that.

According to an article published late last year more people are trying to lose weight than in previous years.

The unfortunate part is that even though more people are trying to lose weight, the only thing they seem to be losing is the battle with the scale.

The old school, outdated strategies to lose weight..ie exercise more and eat less doesn’t work. At least not long term.

I believe the health and wellness industry is doing a disservice to it’s consumers by simply addressing health in basic terms:

  1. What we do and don’t eat.
  2. How many calories we’ve burned vs. how many we’ve consumed.
  3. Using ‘either or’ language instead of looking at things on more of a sliding scale.

Nutrition, like virtually every other area of life is complex. We unfortunately don’t live our lives in a bubble. More times than not, life gets busy, it gets messy.

Even the best of intentions will fail.

One of the things not talked about near enough is the relationship we have with our bodies before, during, and after weight loss attempts (and even the “success” stories, though much fewer).

For most women, one of the driving forces to lose weight is to feel better about themselves or their bodies. What you may not realize is that what you think of as a ‘good’ or ‘healthy’ body is not your idea. It’s been heavily influenced by friends, family, social media, and the larger culture around you.

If you are tired of always trying to feel good in your body regardless of your weight, shape or size and you’re ready to learn how to honor your body in an empowered way you have to check out this podcast episode.

This is a must listen if you want to be healthy without having to follow a diet, restrict food, or obsess over those last 5ish pounds.

Give it a listen, and let me know what you think <3

I’ll see you over there!

xo,

Alisha

P.S. Ready to hop off the hamster wheel of workout programs and meal plans, I got you! Fill out the form below to snag a freebie as well as learn more about how we could work together to get you feeling good in your body without restriction, counting, or tracking.

What to do when you feel stuck in your fitness journey

What to do when you feel stuck in your fitness journey

In January, I’ll be celebrating my 13th birthday–no, not my actual birthday, but the birth of my health journey. It’s so crazy to think I’ve been on this journey in some form for the last 13 years. I remember all the times I had tried to get into a healthy routine before it finally stuck.

Probably not unlike you, I would try to overhaul everything at once. Totally changing my diet, promising to go to the gym everyday, cutting out soda, all the treats…

 I remember feeling like no  matter what I tried or how hard I tried, I would never be able to make a healthy lifestyle stick. It always felt like short term progress. Two steps forward and three back.

I was exhausted from trying so many different things and always failing. 

I thought there was something wrong with me.

 It seemed like so many others had been able to figure out how to make their healthy lifestyle stick, so why couldn’t I?

 Besides feeling like a total failure because I wasn’t making progress on my health goals, I also was in the middle of  planning a wedding and working full time, so I didn’t really have that much time to devote to exercise. Plus, I didn’t even like going  to the gym because I had no clue what I was doing. 

At the time I was pretty lazy–meaning I wanted to do the very least to get the most bang for my buck. I tried all the quick fixes, three day detoxes, cookie diets {insert laughter}. I was desperate and didn’t want to change my life too much. Just wanted the weight loss, and the magic life it seemed to promise.

There was one year when things finally clicked. It was actually the year we were getting married. My hubby-to-be joined a New Year Fitness Challenge at work. While he was more interested in winning the prize at work for winning the challenge, I saw this as an opportunity to try one.more.time.

We started running.  If you would have told me 15 years ago that running would have been what got me started on my journey toward a healthier, more active lifestyle, I would have laughed in your face.

Turns out I needed a little challenge and a whole lot of accountability to get and  stay going.

I didn’t really have a goal at the time, other than lose weight and not to die.

We laced our shoes up, and set out to run one whole mile without stopping. 

But we didn’t start by trying to run the mile out on the first run. 

Instead it was run to the first light pole, walk to the next.

After that became easy, it was run to 2 light poles, then walk for one. And so on.

Slowly over time I was able to run more than I had to walk.

While I did eventually make it to my goal of running one whole mile straight, there were inevitably some bruises and bumps along the way. 

Not too far into this new running thing, I got a running injury. Turns out not just any shoe will do for running. Lesson learned 😉 

After getting some better gear, a little rest, and some insoles, I was ready to rock again.

Not only did I run my first mile without stopping (on purpose), I kept going. 

I started going further and further. 

I actually ended up enjoying running so much, that I entered some different local races to see if I could beat my previous time. This became something I did for myself. It felt good. I enjoyed working hard to beat my previous time. I was in competition with myself. And it felt really darn good.

After years of trying I finally make being active a part of my daily routine.

I went from never being able to stick with an exercise routine for longer than a few days to consistently getting some form of movement into most my days for the last 13 years.

I was no longer the girl who couldn’t keep her promises to herself, but I had become the woman who keeps her word to herself. 

Starting small (one light pole to the next) is what helped me develop the culture of winning and it is what will help you too. What is the one light pole you can get to today? Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day.

There is no need to try to change everything at once. Start small. Like stupid small. 

Think about the smallest improvement you could make today toward living the life you were created to live. Then do that over and over and over. 

Once that is habit, then you can start making some other small changes. You might even be surprised that other habits just start “clicking” along the way. 

They all stack up in the long run to either create massive wins. 

The beautiful thing about habits is once they have developed, you don’t have to really commit any more time or energy doing them as they have just become part of your normal routine.

I get it, time is limited in our fast paced lives these days. And for most of the women I talk to, it is one of the major reasons they have put themselves on the back burner in their lives. If that’s you, I have something for you…

Get access to my 3 Step guide that will help you get more of your time back without feeling like you’ve just added one more thing to your plate.

You deserve a little TLC too. Sign up below!

Embrace your lazy, use this technique to get in the best shape of your life

Embrace your lazy, use this technique to get in the best shape of your life

 

You’re probably going to die when you hear this, but there used to be a time in my life when I would work out 6 days a week for almost 2 hours a day. 

Sure, I was in the ‘best’ shape of my life, or at least I thought I was because I “looked” the part.

But working out was my life. I trained like it was my job. And I didn’t have much left in the tank for other things or people. I’m not sure what I was thinking back then. I was a full time student, with two kids under the age of 4, and my husband was in the military. 

I guess I’m someone who tends to operate on extremes.

I thought I had to workout like that in order to get the results I wanted.

 

I was afraid that if I let off the gas, I’d lose my results.

I was afraid I’d gain weight.

Most importantly, I was afraid I would go back to feeling bad about myself-because I thought looking a certain way gave me my confidence.

There’s a better way though..and it doesn’t involve the all or nothing approach that seems so popular in today’s culture.

I couldn’t keep going the way I was.

My body might have looked like it was doing great, but I was nursing injuries from over training.

Mentally I was always thinking about calories, food, exercise, my body. Between raising a family, being a full time student, and all the thinking about those things..

I was exhausted.

While my mindset around exercise, my body, food, and all of that has been changing slowly over the past year or two.

This minimum dosage concept has been something that has come on more recently. 

Between balancing family and building my business, I just knew I couldn’t make time for hours of exercise like I had in the past. And truthfully, I didn’t want to.

After I figured out in my schedule when I could work out and for how long, I figured out what I could do in the time I had. 

Since keeping muscle mass is important to me (for strength and aging reasons) I knew I wanted to keep a couple of days for lifting.

But I also wanted to be sure I was incorporating some sort of cardio or conditioning as well for heart health, and because I like it.

Instead of doing several longer workouts throughout the week, I started doing full body workouts 3 days a week. Then on the off days, I will either walk or go for a short jog. 

Well, as you know life doesn’t happen inside a vacuum. We can’t always predict what life will throw at us. But that doesn’t mean we have to throw our hands up and ditch out on our movement sessions.

For example, there are days when I don’t feel like doing my scheduled workout.

Maybe I didn’t sleep well the night before, so working out first thing in the am doesn’t sound all that appealing. I want to give myself (and you too) some grace for those days. It’ not all or nothing, and the ‘no excuses’ mentality around exercise is actually doing more harm than good. 

Sure, you have to show up consistently if you want to see changes and improvements. But sometimes showing up for yourself looks different than what you originally planned.

 The first few weeks of figuring out my new groove was a little rocky. Just like all new things tend to be..so give yourself some time to play around and practice.

The point is, be patient as you figure out what your minimum dosage looks like. Chances are it will look different from mine, and that is totally cool. In fact, it should. We live different lives. Have different abilities, and different goals. 

On any given day, especially when you’re not feeling it, take inspired action. For example, on the days I don’t sleep well, I may be more likely to opt for a walk and some yoga instead of something more intense. 

Learn how to read and listen to your body. I promise, it will make this whole experience so much more enjoyable.

Taking the minimum dosage approach to my training (and really every other area of life) has saved so much time and energy because I’m not forcing it.

I’m able to do the very minimum of what needs to be done to get the results I want. And you will too when you implement these strategies.

This frees up time to do other things that maybe you wouldn’t get done or would be rushed doing. Again helping you feel less stretched, and more energized.

On those days when life feels super crazy or time is crunched, instead of just not working out or eating in a way that honors your body, do what little you can with the time and energy you have. Again, it’s not an all or nothing thing. 

Using this Minimum Dosage Approach has given me so much time and energy back. And I know it will for you too.

Instead of being stressed out by trying to do too much in any one area, I’m able to get more of the right things done and have energy left over. How nice would that be?

Rather than just not working out because I don’t have time, I take what little time I do have and get it done. Whatever ‘it’ happens to look like that day. Pretty sweet, eh?

Most importantly, I’ve found my middle ground, which feels so much better than living in the extremes of all or nothing thinking. Imagine how much more peace you’ll experience in the middle ground 😉 

Do you always feel like you’re struggling to find your groove? Like there’s never enough time? I want to help.

If you’re having a hard time finding more time, I want to help you get your time back..

Seriously, what would you do with an extra 3 hours a week? Sign up below to get some of my best time getting strategies sent right to your inbox, plus be among the first to learn more about The Mindful Eating Project…doors opening soon!

 

Being in the best shape almost cost me my marriage

Being in the best shape almost cost me my marriage

I fell for the lies.

I used to think if I was in better shape I’d somehow be a better version of myself as a wife, mom, coach, or whatever other role I had in my life at the time. For me though, better shape had everything to do with how I looked. Not necessarily how I felt about my body, or how healthy I was mentally, emotionally, relationally. Being in the best shape almost cost me my marriage.  

And while on some level being in better shape did make me a better version of myself, it also made me a worse version of myself. 

A crazy thing started to happen, and it was so subtle I didn’t notice it until it was almost too late or really even until after the fact. 

The more ‘fit’ I became, the more selfish I had become. 

I was obsessed with myself, with my body, with the food I ate. To the point that my marriage was crumbling. 

There were times I thought about leaving my life, and my family behind. Starting over in this new, amazing body I had invested so much time and energy into building. 

You see, I think we are sold this idea that if we were in better shape the whole world would open up for us, and our problems would melt away…kinda like the fat on our thighs.

The reality is, if you’re just doing the work on the outside (and not also on the inside), you will have new problems. 

You can’t fix the outside, expecting it will heal the broken places on the inside. 

I was afraid of letting myself go, giving up my fitness obsession. Or my thoughts about having a certain body. 

My identity had become so wrapped up in my body. 

While my fitness journey may have started out as a healthy endeavor to get in shape to be a healthier version of me. 

It was fueled by negative emotions from the get go.

You see, I didn’t start out feeling ok or at peace with my body. I wasn’t grateful for what it had survived to that point. 

I was at odds with my body, and blamed my weight for my problems.

With anything there is a point of diminishing returns. Meaning more isn’t always better. Just like doing nothing is not better either. 

I think there is always the temptation to teeter between two extremes. This is dangerous because you’ll always either feel like you’re totally out of control or fall into the false sense of control that being too much of anything provides.

I fell prey to the lie that our relationship would be better if I was in better shape. That I needed to change my body in some massive way to be a better wife. 

What actually needed to happen was I needed to become a better wife by focusing a little less on myself and more on loving my husband regardless of what my body looked like. 

He didn’t care if I was a size 0 or a size 10. 

Here’s an outline of how I backed off of my fitness obsession little by little.

I didn’t realize just how much time and energy was spent on worrying about food, what I was eating, my weight, or what I looked like until after I left diet culture behind.

Thinking less about my body has opened up so much more time for me to think about my husband, yes, but also so many other things.  

The most ironic thing is I am to this day, as confident as I was at my smallest, if not even more. 

Whether you’re trying to lose weight because you think it’s what you need to do to be more worthy of love from your partner or you’ve lost the weight, and now you’re frantically trying to keep it off, there is a better way.

And I want to show you how to get there. The Mindful Eating Project is opening soon. Fill out the form below to get more info, and just for doing so, I’ll send you a FREE gift that will help you get more of your time back. Who doesn’t want that?!