If we are honest with ourselves, we are all a hot mess from time to time. Sometimes those seasons feel a bit longer than we’d like. But there’s literally no reason for you to feel embarrassed or ashamed if you haven’t been able to reach your fitness goals…yet.
I failed time and time again. Starting a new workout program promising a bikini body in 6 weeks or less, or a new diet it seemed every other week. Each only lasting for a few days consistently at best before I’d quit on myself.
One of the biggest problems with *most* of the fitness information out there is the promise you can totally and radically change your life in a short period of time.
The reality is, change is hard. Change takes time. And change is a practice. We are sold the lie we should be able to completely overhaul our nutrition and movement routines with the drop of a hat. Unfortunately, that is not how behaviors are changed or habits created.
Change is about learning new skills, creating a support system, and changing your habits. All of that takes a lot of time, patience, and practice.
You won’t get it right all the time, and you won’t get it right at first. Ditch the guilt and the shame you might be carrying around. Simply decide to practice. Each and every day practice becoming the woman you want to be deep down just a little bit more.
And whatever you do, don’t try to do it alone.
If you’ve failed at this whole fitness thing, you’re in good company
One of the biggest lies we believe is you’re the only woman who struggles to implement radical changes to your lifestyle. But you’re not. We are all struggling at different times and with different things. Learn to embrace and even welcome the struggle.
Fitness really is a lifestyle change. And it’s not just the discipline to change your body, but it’s also the discipline to change your mind. The fitness industry has done a great job of teaching us that being ‘fit’ looks one way. This can often feel we are fighting an uphill battle if we’re either not able to achieve that fit ideal or we’re miserable once we do. Begin defining what fitness is for yourself, and you’ll learn you cannot fail.
Accountability is the key to consistency
For a long time, I struggled with consistency in working out and eating ‘right’. After enough time and practice, it’s become a part of my daily routine. In the beginning though, I needed accountability. Having others who knew the goals I’d set for myself and who were committed to helping me succeed was a game changer. I truly believe it was their support and their belief in me that kept me going on the days I couldn’t see the progress I’d made.
If you’re trying to make lifestyle changes, you are going to need to have as much support as you can. This also means changing your environment, changing your routine, and possibly even changing who you spend your time with. You want to set yourself up for as much success as you can, yet realizing you cannot control everything.
When ‘good enough’ is enough
There are days when I follow my workout plan and there are days when I don’t. But every single day I try to move my body, even if it’s just a leisure walk with my pup. And without feeling guilty or ashamed because I wasn’t perfect.
As a recovering perfectionist this mindset is not one that comes easily to me. Much of my pride and confidence used to come from trying to do things perfectly. When I could, it was great, and I felt so much pride in myself. The times when I couldn’t do it perfectly devastated me.
Own your struggles and use them as fuel. Don’t try to hide from them or sweep them under the rug. If you want to make true lifestyle change it’s not enough to try to add in new healthier habits. You’ve got to understand and acknowledge the behaviors that aren’t serving you. Don’t see your struggles as weakness. Use them to drive you forward towards your goals, and do it by bringing other women along with you.
When we try to keep all of our guilt and shame hidden it festers. And eventually you won’t be able to hide it anymore. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Whether that’s with your coach or a group of friends. Let others in on the struggles you have with food, exercise, and your body. Simply bringing those things into the open brings healing. It empowers you to face them head on.
Created for community
As women, we need community. It’s hard-wired in our DNA. What better community to have around you than one who is just as committed to your success as they are to their own?
In creating a healthier lifestyle it’s important to realize this encompasses all areas of your life. Being fit really isn’t just about what your body looks like despite what social media tells you.
Leave the toxic relationships behind. Maybe this will be just for a season, and maybe it will be for longer. When you’ve decided you’re ready to make positive change, there isn’t much room for people and/ or circumstances that don’t support you.
Replace the toxic relationships with healthier ones. Think about the women in your life that energize you and inspire you to be a better version of yourself. How can you spend more time with them?
You have everything you need
Allow yourself to be seen just as you are. One of the biggest mistakes I made in my fitness journey was thinking I had to learn how to do healthy living perfectly. The only thing that did was remind me of how inadequate I was, because I couldn’t do it perfectly.
Trust that you’ve already got what it takes to reach your goals. You don’t need to look for the next diet or the next fitness fad. You know more than you think. Now it’s time to implement.
Tap into the pain, shame, and guilt you might be experiencing because of past failures. Instead of hiding from it or trying to conceal it, use it as fuel for your fitness journey. You can learn so much from mistakes and failures. Don’t let it go to waste, and remember it’s all of those experiences (and the successes) that make you who you are.
I want you to see and believe the very things you believe disqualifies you from reaching your fitness goals are exactly what you can use to move forward with confidence.
You’ve got this, and I’m here to help. Fill out the form below to receive weekly tips and pep talks right to your inbox.
Cheers to creating food freedom, finding joy in movement, and making peace with your body long before you reach your goals!
There are some days I feel like I’m barely keeping my head above water. Some days I feel completely submerged by mom life, wife life, and work life.
I used to think balance was a magical destination. I imagined one day like my son’s lego block, it would just click, and I’d be there like all the other unicorn mommies on social media.
The reality is, balance is a constant struggle between all the important things in our lives. You don’t ever completely arrive. Balance is something you will always have to be intentional about.
Back in the day, one of the first things I would give up would be my gym time. I’d settle on eating whatever was quick and easy even if it didn’t align with my goals.
I lived with an all or nothing mentality. Either I could be an excellent mom or career woman, but not both. I could be fit and healthy or a good mom, but not at the same time. There was a time I believed accelerating in one area meant I had to sacrifice in the others.
You will have to make decisions and you will have to exercise self-control. You won’t have to choose between those things, you can learn to manage them.
Make time for relationships
If you weren’t my husband, my client, or my three year old I’d likely not be spending too much time with you.
I’m sure you’re not surprised to know after going on like that for too long I became a total momster (monster + mom). I felt less like the woman I was created to be, and a bit more like an empty shell shuffling through the motions.
I felt alone and isolated. Like I was the only woman who was having a hard time finding balance.
I’ve been the mom and the woman who has just put her head down to work and have seen how lonely that can be. Not to mention how hard it is when you feel like you’re failing.
I’ve also been the woman who has let herself be totally into motherhood- she forgot her dreams. Forgot who she was. Who wasn’t filling anyone else’s cups too well because she wasn’t filling her own cup.
You’re made for community
I’m an extrovert. And I’m committed to doing the work I was put on earth to do well. There are times my intensity towards my goals or my passion gets in the way of me having the close relationships I crave as a working mom and wife.
I’ve realized in life if I’m not intentional about creating the space for those other important relationships they won’t happen. I didn’t realize in that season of small children how much I needed that connection to other women hustling for their dream life too.
You may not be extroverted like me, but you still need community. Your idea of community might look a little different from mine, and this is totally fine. Find what works, and do more of it. Whatever you do, don’t sacrifice relationships because life is easier that way.
Find women who share your values
The closer you are in your values and priorities, the easier it will be to let yourself be vulnerable without fear of judgment. The more vulnerable you can be together, the deeper the connection and commitment to one another. This is true of any relationship really. Learn to open up, and see what begins to happen in your key relationships.
Find other like minded women to use as an accountability system. When you connect with other women who you can relate with you’ll be more likely to reach your fitness goals and have fun. Life is about community, it’s about cheering each other on and fixing other women’s crowns when they slip.
Other women are not your competition
We are seriously not in competition with any other woman.
The only person you should concern yourself with being better than, is the person you were yesterday.
Unfortunately society likes to pit us against one another. There is no need to be catty. You don’t have to put someone else down so you feel better. And you definitely don’t need to put yourself down or let other women put you down either.
Stand together instead of letting your insecurities create division. Society seems set on creating competition between women. it’s more important than ever to choose unity and community.
Often there is a clear line between ‘us’ and ‘them’. We might be judging ourselves or other women based on how they look compared to us. What their life looks like on social media. Or how well they are performing in their roles as wives, moms, and women.
Getting sucked into the competition mindset, only ever leaves me feeling worse about myself. I think honestly this was why I avoided places like the gym for so long.
I felt like a fish out of water. It seemed like every other woman there knew what she was doing. I thought I was the only one not in my dream body. However, the closer I got to my dream body, the more I realized all my insecurities still existed. It was in that moment I knew they were probably more like me than I thought.
Choose women who will push you to grow.
I don’t believe you should just choose anyone to hold you accountable. Find women you click with, and make sure they will push you to grow and get better daily.
Finding your tribe will be inspirational, motivational, and at times a life line. On the days you feel like you can’t continue, want to give up, or like you’re a complete failure, they will be there to pick you up.
Life already brings enough challenges. We might as well make the most of them and our fitness journey by linking arms with other ladies on the same struggle bus.
Cheers to creating food freedom, finding joy in movement, and making peace with your body before you reach your goals!
PS. Fill out the form below if you want to get weekly doses of inspiration sent to you.
One of the first experiences I ever had with weight loss came from Weight Watchers. At the time that program seemed like a God-send, and in many ways it was an absolute blessing.
After years of trying and failing what seems like hundreds of diets and quick fixes I was defeated. Finding something that actually helped me lose weight seemed too good to be true.
As time went on though, I started to see a couple of glaring flaws with this model.
Why Weight Watchers stopped working for me..
1) The public weigh ins. Sure they served as a system of accountability, and a bit like a scare tactic. For me, the weigh ins were driven by fear. I monitored every thing I ate, and meticulously tracked my points. Everything I ate during the week hinged on that one moment when I’d have to hop on the scale in front of every other woman at my meeting.
2) It didn’t actually teach me how to eat. I became more aware of what I was eating throughout my short stint with Weight Watchers. Slowly I started to make healthier choices, because I wanted to be able to eat as much food as possible, and the healthier food choices were less points. I essentially learned how to barter and negotiate with my food. This behavior only ended up furthering the disordered eating habits I’d already formed.
You could essentially eat whatever you wanted as long as you didn’t go over your points. If you opted to go with the WW Core plan, you could eat as much as you wanted as long as it was on the list of approved foods. I didn’t learn to listen to my body’s hunger cues. Weight Watchers didn’t teach me to eat slowly, or that sometimes it’s ok to eat for pleasure.
Years later I can see these problems. In the moment I was just thrilled I had found some sort of method to help me lose weight. I was desperate. And in all honesty, I would have done anything to lose weight. I thought my value came from the body I was in.
What did the weigh ins teach me?
Accountability isn’t a bad thing.
It’s simply taking responsibility and ownership for your goals, dreams, and your actions.
That’s scary, I know. Most of the time when we hear some of those words we cringe. Negative emotions might even begin to well up inside your chest. Lean into that, and give yourself some time to explore what’s going on.
Accountability isn’t intended to be a punishment reserved for the times we mess up. At it’s core I believe it’s about teaching us the power of self-control and discipline.
Being held accountable (whether by yourself or another) is actually a blessing in disguise. All of our actions have consequences–another word that might trigger icky feelings. Some consequences are negative and some consequences we view more as a reward. Some we try to avoid and others we try to get more of.
Accountability isn’t weakness
You don’t need accountability because you need punishment. You’re not a screw up, and you need someone to tell you that or make you ‘pay’ for some sin against your fitness regiment.
Mainstream health and fitness accountability often looks a lot like punishment. Followed by feelings of guilt or shame because you ate something you weren’t ‘supposed to’ or you skipped a workout.
Sometimes we punish ourselves, and sometimes we let others do it for us through social media or in our closest relationships.
Remember, you aren’t seeking accountability because you’re weak. You’re doing it because you know it will help you reach your fitness goals faster and with more ease.
Healthy accountability will help you reach your goals faster.
Healthy accountability will make you want to rise to meet the standards you’ve set for yourself. You will have a desire to show up and do the work, because you know you can’t fail and you can’t mess up.
If your coach is a good one, they will provide the kind of support and environment that inspires you to keep pushing forward. Regardless of how much you feel like quitting you won’t because you know you’ve got someone in your corner. Your coach can’t stop you from quitting on yourself, but they can help you get through the times you feel like you want to.
Negative accountability is the opposite. It does feel like punishment, and it’s heavy. I don’t blame you for avoiding accountability if you feel like you’ll be condemned for not following the plan perfectly.
Negative accountability evokes shame, guilt, or other negative emotions. Ain’t nobody got time for that. If you’re in a situation where you feel guilt, shame, or like you’ve got to lie about your actions, you need to find a new accountability partner.
Avoid your own blind spots
You may not always see what is tripping you up on your own. Sometimes we aren’t even aware of what we are doing, and we just roll through life on auto-pilot.
Having your tribe behind you can really help you see the pot holes in your fitness journey.
As women especially we seek community, and deep down, we long for those tight friendships we had as girls. Sometimes it can be hard to find that tribe because we feel insecure, jealous, or too busy to let others in to see our hot mess. Don’t let those things stop you. We are all hot messes from time to time.
If you truly want to tap into the power of having a tribe, you’ve got to be willing to let your guard down. Learn how to handle your feelings of jealousy, inadequacy, and insecurity in a healthy way.
Accountability challenges you to show up when you don’t feel like it
I did it alone in the beginning and it was hard. Until you’ve created healthy habits it’s too easy to give up if you don’t have accountability. My son would eat cake for breakfast everyday if we let him.
There were many days I felt isolated , and like I was the only woman out there that wasn’t getting results and didn’t know why. When I linked arms with a running buddy that I felt a new level of commitment towards my fitness goals.
When you know someone is expecting you to show up, you just do. And you do it differently than you would if it were just you showing up for yourself.
I guess I’ve always sort of felt like a lone wolf. However ,that statement in itself is ironic. Wolves don’t travel alone. They travel in a pack. Because even they know there’s power in numbers. The saying, “It takes a village to raise a kid” is also true when it comes to reaching your fitness goals–or any other goal for that matter. You need a village if you want to survive long term.
Allows you to tap into your inner strength, learn + grow
Look, at the end of the day no one is coming to save you from your circumstances. No one is going to persevere and rally for your dreams as much as you.
You’ve got to be the one who decides to own them. You’ve got to be the one who decides they’re worth fighting for. That you’re worth fighting for. Whether you decide to hold yourself accountable, or you enlist the help of a lifestyle coach, having to report on how you’ve been doing will allow you to tap into strength you never even knew you had. Take the time to reflect on and own up to your actions. Reflection is a great opportunity for you to grow as a person. It also gives you great feedback on your habits and thought patterns.
Why is this important? Because then you can actually do something about it. Becoming self-aware of your behaviors (both the things that are working for you and that aren’t) will help you change what’s not working, and do more of what is.
Find your tribe
Showing up is hard work. Often times it can feel icky, especially when we have felt for so long that we just keep messing up. The truth is there is power in numbers. Having your own squad will not only help you reach your fitness goals faster, but it will also be a whole lot more fun too.
If you’re tired of feeling alone on this journey, and want to join our amazing tribe of women fill out the form below. We’re committed to crushing our goals and living our best life. Are you?
Cheers to creating food freedom, finding joy in movement, and making peace with your body before you ever reach your goals.
Nobody likes a flake. They are hard to rely on and you can almost never trust them to do what they say they’ll do because they don’t have a history of showing up. Sadly, we are sometimes the flakiest person we know. It’s not that we flake out on everyone else around us, but that we flake out on ourselves. On our dreams, our goals, and our deepest desires. Maybe it’s the fear of failure that stops us in our tracks or maybe it’s because we keep waiting for motivation to come knocking on our door.
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you will NEVER feel motivated…that is not until you decide to do something about your current situation.
Motivation is like a muscle. The more reps you do, the stronger the urge or the feeling of motivation becomes. The problem is, we often wait to do anything until we feel like it.
Why is motivation so hard to come by? Because we are rarely ever excited about change. Even if we know that the change will be good for us, it’s still hard.
You’ve got to draw a line in the sand and decide you’re done with where you are and then take the next step. That one small action of going against the grain, doing something different sets off a chain reaction in your mind. It’s the wake up call you’ve been waiting for.
With that one action, you begin to feel more empowered, have more belief in yourself, and you eventually get hooked on the feeling of being there for yourself.
Think about it, if you had a friend that was notorious for flaking (let’s be real, we’ve all had them…maybe we were that friend) you would eventually lose faith they would actually follow through, and stop trying all together. Sound familiar? Hello New Year’s resolutions I’m talking to you..
We start to believe and feel the same way about ourselves when we are constantly starting a new diet or workout program and only stick with it for a few days before we go back to our old ways. I’m not at all saying that’s your fault. In fact, I think it’s the other way around. The diet and fitness industry is to blame. The major focus on weight lost and muscles popping doesn’t leave much room for variety. We’re taught fitness and health look a certain way, but we aren’t really ever talking about the dark side of what it takes to reach that ‘ideal body’. So time and time again we set out on the same journey to lose the same 15-30 pounds, using the same method, getting the same result. No wonder, motivation is lacking.
The more you show up, the more motivated you are. Especially when you are not so focused on the immediate results–they take time.
So, you don’t have a good record of showing up for yourself…
Let me guess, you’re usually the one that shows up for everyone else, but have a much harder time showing up for yourself. It’s so much easier to keep our word to others because we dont’ want to let them down or disappoint.
We might also find it easier to show up for others more than ourselves if we don’t value ourselves enough to see we are worth investing in too. Low self-esteem was the culprit of my dreams for years. I didn’t feel worthy of my goals or dreams, and as a result it was easier to just not show up than face the painful feelings of not being ‘enough’.
If you’ve ever attempted to s set and reach personal goals before, but have always failed you can start to feel defeated, tired of letting herself down, and you may start to wonder what’s the point. So it just becomes easier NOT show up.
Here’s why you’re not showing up for yourself like you do everyone else.
Guilt, shame, people pleasing. These are all major reasons we have a hard time staying consistent when it comes to creating habits we know will move us in the direction we want to go.
First thing to learn is that it’s OK to prioritize what you want for yourself. Especially understanding that it usually makes you better for everyone and everything else you are doing in life. It’s not selfish or sinful to make your goals important enough to show up for.
Sometimes we put off showing up for ourselves because we think we have time. This is one of the reasons I’ve gone from setting annual goals to focusing on a smaller number of goals to hit in 12 weeks. You have to create a sense of urgency and desire for your dreams, goals, and vision. No one else will for you, and no one else will make it important, you have to do that for yourself. This means putting your goals in your calendar and scheduling the time to take the necessary action. So, if you’re set on creating healthier habits–like eating better or working out/ moving your body more you have to create the space in your planner and your schedule for it to actually happen.
Then you have to hold yourself to it. Just like any other important appointment or meeting.
Whether you know it or not, you hold deeply rooted beliefs about yourself, others, and the way the world ought to be or about the way the world is. These beliefs are hard to break and it’s impossible to get rid of the part of your brain that holds these beliefs–the subconscious.
The good news? You can learn from your subconscious and even begin to harness its power. But you have to be willing to do the work. Reaching your health and fitness goals are about the mindset and your thoughts about yourself, food, exercise, just as much as it’s about actually doing the workouts or choosing to eat healthier. Make sure your mind isn’t the thing sabotaging all your efforts in your workouts or your diet.
You know what you should be doing to get healthier , but you just can’t make yourself do it
For most of us, we know exactly what we need to do in order to create a healthier mind, body, and soul. But we still don’t do it. The typical way we are taught to create healthier lives is usually through adding in more food rules, more exercise (that we may not even like), and doing it perfectly.
Think about all the times you’ve told a kid NOT to touch something and how much stronger the urge gets almost immediately to touch that thing. We are the same way.
As soon as you tell your brain carbs are off limits and bad for you. What do you think about? Carbs. And eating them. All day long. Or if you decide you have to cut out sugar in order to lose those last 10-15 pounds it seems like sweets are everywhere and even harder to resist than usual.
Of course I don’t think you *have* to cut either of those things out or anythign else you enjoy eating. But I do think you need to become more aware of your choices and why you’re making them. I do believe in self- control, moderation, and discipline. Those are the backbones to reaching your fitness goals this year and any other year. However, those often get confused with food rules and restriction. They are not the same thing. The difference? The heart behind it. You’ve got to become good at discerning your heart and your internal motivations behind every action you take. This is the piece of the health and fitness puzzle that seems to be missing from every other workout program or meal plan on the planet.
We usually don’t have a knowledge problem when it comes to our health. We have an implementation problem.
With a simple google search you can come up with diets, workouts, and meal plans all promising the body of your dreams. You’ve probably even tried a handful of them a time or two.
More information isn’t going to help you feel motivated to take action. You need to understand why the things you’ve tried haven’t worked in the past. This way you can learn from those past experiences and figure out what adjustments you can make moving forward.
What if I’m too busy to commit to working out and eating better?
We make time for what’s truly important to us. Plain and simple. The things we value are the things we follow through on. It’s ok to acknowledge you may value comfort over pushing yourself. We all do. But at some point you will either have to lean into the pain of change or live with the pain of regret. I used to feel too busy too. I would put my workouts off until the end of the day, and most of the time they wouldn’t happen. Or I would say I’ll start eating better, and wouldn’t actually take any steps towards making that a reality.
Not only did I not feel good in my skin at that point, but I also didn’t feel good about how I was showing up in the world around me. Your body isn’t the end all be all. And there are goals more worthy than weight loss or fat loss that is for sure. However, when I finally started showing up consistently to take care of myself my whole demeanor changed. I started to believe in myself again–or perhaps for the first time ever. It was pushing myself outside of my comfort zone through exercise and nutrition that I started to see my confidence rise. I became more courageous in other areas as well–regardless of what was happening on the outside.
Why it’s so much harder to create ‘good or healthy’ habits
We are hard wired for pleasure and comfort. Instant gratification will lure us in every single time unless we are intentional about exercising self- control or discipline. Im not 100% against seeking pleasure and comfort at times, but to give into those desires and temptations all the time ins’t going to lead anywhere good–mentally, emotionally, or physically. There’s a sweet spot that lives right in the middle of rules and restriction aka diet culture and have whatever you want-whenever you want it anti-diet culture.
I don’t see self control and restriction in the same category. One is helpful, the other isn’t.
The ‘bad’ habits come easier because they are usually the ones hitting the reward center in our brains. That’s why its often easier to grab for the bag of chips or the tub of ice cream than it is for the apple or the carrot.
At first you will have to manually override your urge for intstant gratification. Holding onto the vision and the goals you’ve set for yourself is one powerful way to do this. The more you do this, the easier it becomes. It does take sacrifice. It does take discipline. It will take you actively choosing to do the harder thing time and time again. But it does get easier.
Keep yourself in check though. Stay curious and ask why you’re making the decision you are at that moment. Is it out of punishment or from the dieting perspective? Or are you making those choices to soothe and comfort yourself in a way that may actually be doing more damage than good. Eating your feelings only solves the problem temporarily.
“Life happened and now I have to start all over..”
Life gets in the way. There will never be a way around that. There have been so many times I set out to start a new diet or a new workout program in the past only to get sick or to have one of my kids sick. It threw me off. I was unable to keep going because I wasn’t able to follow the rules perfectly.
Trying to follow diet rules or workout programs you don’t like is really only a recipe for disaster. When we can’t follow the rules and we haven’t formed new habits to replace the old ones it is so easy to slip back into our old patterns and routines. Instead of creating more rules around food or exercise, create new habits. Habits will stick no matter what life throws at you.
How to get more motivated without flaking out on yourself:
Strategies to start showing up for yourself consistently to help you create habits and reach your goals.
- Do the work to figure out what your deep seeded beliefs or thoughts are about yourself, food, your body, exercise. Usually in this busy, fast paced life we just go through the motions day after day even if they aren’t producing the results we want. It’s time to wake up, sister! Start asking yourself WHY you just did what you did.
- Pick 1-2 things to work on at a time. Make them small changes, and action items that make you feel excited inside. If you pick things that bring up feelings of fear, anxiety, or dread, you’re not going to be very motivated to stick with it. So pick things that make your heart leap with joy. Even in the action items seem small and insignificant. Remember, you’re simply trying to build trust in yourself and your ability to follow through and create a new, healthier habit.
- Create a schedule or routine. You have to schedule those actions from step 2 into your calendar or they won’t happen. LIfe will get in the way. You won’t feel motivated in the beginning, so you have to rely on discipline and desire at first. You have to create the motivation to stick it out by action. Treat these commitments with yourself as important appointments that cannot be broken–just like you would if the appointment were with someone else. If you schedule time to move at 11 am, then that is when you are going to move your body even if you don’t feel like it, at least at first. You can work on creating more flexibility later. For now, you need to build the habit of showing up for yourself.
- Motivation boils down to discipline, action, and commitment. The more consistent action you take, the more motivated you will feel. Staying consistent will require discipline at first. Which can be uncomfortable or feel restrictive in some ways. Keep your eye on the prize–what do you want that you don’t currently have? Remember: You will never feel motivated until you commit to taking action each and every day. That means taking action even when you don’t feel like it.
- Focus on creating new habits that will fuel the healthier lifestyle you want to create for yourself instead of following rules. It’s important to emphasize the importance of creating habits you know will move you in the direction of you want to go and that align with your values and priorities. If you try to set goals or create habits that don’t align with your core values or the things you truly value, you will have a hard time sticking with them.
- Have fun. This is often overlooked when it comes to working on our fitness goals or any goal for that matter. But this might be the most important tactic of them all. If you’re not having fun while you’re reaching your goals, you’re doing it wrong.
Don’t let this information sit on ice. Do something with it starting today. Take one small action before you feel motivated. Then keep going. Commit yourself to showing up and start thinking like the version of yourself you want to be now. Work on creating motivation from within and you will be unstoppable.
What is one thing that helps you stay motivated even when you don’t feel it?
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I don’t blame you for feeling burned out on your workout program or you meal plan.
It’s easy to get to that place of frustration and wanting to throw in the towel, when you feel like you’re doing *all the right things* and aren’t getting any of the results. I’ve been there.
For years, I tried all the workout programs promising a bikini ready body in six weeks. Little did I know in order to have a bikini body, you literally just have to put a bikini on your body. Or I’d read diet book after diet book thinking starting a new diet would be the answer I’d been looking for. After all, nutrition is 80% of your results.
After trying and failing so many times, nobody blames you for losing belief in yourself. But maybe the problem isn’t that you lost the belief in yourself. Perhaps it was never there to begin with. This would be completely reasonable if you grew up thinking you were a failure because you had a fixed mindset. It could also be completely possible for you to not believe in yourself because that is the way mainstream fitness is designed.
If the diets and the workout programs actually worked long-term, the fitness industry would be in big trouble.
You don’t need another diet, meal plan, or workout program.
You need consistency. When we fail to reach our goals it’s usually because we aren’t consistent enough, long enough to elicit the results we want. And most of the time, the reason we suck at consistency is because of our deep-rooted beliefs–some of which you may not even be aware you have.
Your mindset is crucial in what you end up achieving. If deep down you don’t believe you can ever achieve your weight loss goal or if you associate losing weight with any sort of negative feeling, emotion, or thought you will subconsciously sabotage yourself.
It’s easier to think negative than it is to be positive. Optimism is learned and strengthened through practice much like motivation…
If you have a habit of always thinking about things in a negative light, you can change that. Whether we are naturally more pessimistic or optimistic is largely influenced by our environment. This means it can be changed. The process of changing the pattern your thoughts may not come easily, especially when we are trained to see the flaws in ourselves. But it can be done none the less.
One simple way you can start doing this is through gratitude. Start appreciating what you do have and what you have accomplished so far than what you don’t or you haven’t.
Reflect on your actions, do they line up with the goals you’ve set for yourself or not–be honest here. Then ask yourself how can you course correct. Your thoughts drive your emotions and your actions. If you want to change your actions, you must first change your thoughts.
We think it is in reaching our goals that we will be happy, but we have the opportunity to live ‘as if’ (does this remind anyone else of Clueless- or is it just me?) WAY before we reach our goals. You don’t actually want your goals. You want the feelings you believe reaching those fitness goals will bring you. Why not work on cultivating those feelings now?
The health and fitness industry wants us to believe in order to *feel* confident, attractive, and beautiful we have to look a certain way. You don’t. You can start to create those same warm and fuzzy feelings right now.
Learn how to improve your body image while reaching your fitness goals with these tips:
Remember all great things take time and a consistent effort to build. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but it was built every day. Habits are grounded in consistency and they are they key to creating long-term, lasting change whether in nutrition, fitness, or otherwise.
Start slowly and start simply. Either by replacing one habit at a time or by creating one new positive habit at a time. Instead of going all in on a meal plan, focus on changing one thing at one meal until it becomes so easy you don’t even have to think about it. If you’re not used to working out, don’t commit to 5 days of working out start with 1 and do that one day consistently until it’s a part of your life. After the new habit becomes easy and automatic you can add to it or make it more challenging. They key is to go slow.
Whatever positive habit you pick to start creating or whatever negative habit you’re committed to changing you want to ask yourself how likely you believe you are to achieving it. Pick the habit and the change in your routine, then rate it on a scale of 1-10 how likely it will be to be consistent in working on it. Anything lower than an 8/9 needs to be made easier.
When you do fail or fall down, don’t waste your time or energy beating yourself up. Self-condemnation doesn’t motivate us to work harder or to persevere. It usually has the opposite effect. Get in the habit of giving yourself grace and pep talks. When a baby is learning to walk and they stumble we don’t make fun of them or call them names for falling. We encourage them to get up and try again. Practice that same kind of grace and compassion for yourself too.
Harness the power of your thoughts through visualization.
Often times by thinking about all the ways something could go wrong, we end up creating that exact reality with our minds. If you think you’re going to fail at your new workout program or you think you’ll only stick with your nutrition habits for a few days, then you will. Likewise, you can begin creating a new reality for yourself by visualizing different outcomes.
- Know what you want and why: make sure you are chasing goals that line up with your values. Get a clear picture in your mind of what you want, how you believe it will make you feel to have that, and why you want it. Ask yourself: if you had no limits on what you could have, be, or do what would you have, be, and do?
- Create a detailed image: this is where vision boards or Pinterest come in handy. Find images of the life you want to be living and put it somewhere you will see it often. If you could wave a magic wand, what would your life look like?
- Start visualizing and create the feelings now: start to actually visualize your dream life as if. What are the smells, sounds, sights. Tap into the emotions and the feelings you believe reaching those goals will bring you. Practice creating your dream life now in your mind.
- Take action every day: You won’t get where you want to be in a day, week, or even a month–most likely it will take time…and consistent action. Settle in for the journey and commit to showing up each and every day. What action can you commit to taking daily, weekly to move you closer to your health and fitness goals?
- Learn how to have grit and perseverance: Challenges will arise along the way. Give yourself the upper hand by preparing for them in advance with a little extra planning. Practice overcoming the obstacles beforehand through visualization. See yourself successfully overcoming the challenges ahead of time, so that when they do come, you’re already confident and prepared to handle them like a boss.
You have what it takes to reach your goals, whatever they are and I believe in you. It’s time for you to believe in you too. Learn to see the world through a more optimistic lens by practicing positive thinking. Give yourself grace and compassion when you stumble just like you would someone you love. And get in the habit of seeing yourself succeed.
Don’t wait to put this to work for you. Your mindset about yourself, fitness, and health is just as important as eating vegetables and exercising. Take the time to get your mind right, otherwise all the hard work you put in to reaching your goals will be in vain.
If you need a little help getting started, grab the PDF I created to get you started.
Cheers to creating food freedom, finding joy in movement, and making peace with your body long before you reach your goals!